One Thing After Another: Constant Troubles In Middle School
A little bit awkward, hello middle school.
Looking back at my middle school years is extremely hard for me, and trying to recall any positive memories on my learning to write are very slim to nothing. Middle school was a time that I dealt with many ups and downs in my life, but especially downs and it felt like it was just one thing after another I had to deal with. I was placed into the advanced honors math and English courses in middle school, so I spent every day with students who I never knew before, which is basic because my middle school was comprised of the five elementary schools that surrounded my city at that time. I was put in the classes with all the smart and wealthy students who I never met until middle school because they all were either in the TASK program, which was the advanced elementary classes that was focused on the smart select few students who were in all the same classes together from first grade to sixth, or the students came from the elementary school that was surrounding the wealthy part of Owosso. Trying to fit into these classes did not really settle well. I was picked on a lot because I did not have the nicest clothes or because I was extremely tall for my age and could not fit into my clothes all that well either.
This time in my life (around seventh grade) I don't remember writing much or really discussing much with anyone because of the amount of bullying that consumed my life. I remember being thrown into lockers, being spit on, punched, kicked, laughed at, you name it. If there was one thing I do remember about this time was that I would read the Harry Potter series. This was the one series that could take me out of my life and place me into somewhere where I was happy and could get away from everything around me. I know that this really doesn't have much to do with my writing ability, but it sure helped me through some of the rough years I had.
This time in my life (around seventh grade) I don't remember writing much or really discussing much with anyone because of the amount of bullying that consumed my life. I remember being thrown into lockers, being spit on, punched, kicked, laughed at, you name it. If there was one thing I do remember about this time was that I would read the Harry Potter series. This was the one series that could take me out of my life and place me into somewhere where I was happy and could get away from everything around me. I know that this really doesn't have much to do with my writing ability, but it sure helped me through some of the rough years I had.
The Loss of a Loved One: How Writing Helped Me Cope
By my eighth grade year, I was starting to get the hang of the middle school agenda and the ropes of all of my courses. I finally had a group of friends that I could say had my back and were always there for me during the hard times in life. Bullying became less and less of an issue as my middle school career progressed so I did not have to worry as much because I was in the highest grade at the middle school, so in a way, my fellow students did not have any reason to really make fun of me. I thought that I had it all, because I was in the advanced placement English and Math courses and I felt like my worth was extremely high compared to how I used to feel in the beginning of the courses. I also did not have a lot of emotional problems because of the lack of bullying and the great group of friends I had, but by March of my eighth grade year, all of that changed.
During March, my Grandfather was in the hospital, and my entire family was all there praying and hoping that he would come out fine. My Grandmother, who was the strongest of them all, and was my hero, was at his side every minute of every day to make sure that he was taken care of properly. My Grandpa and Grandma were married for around sixty years or more, but you could tell the love they had for each other was like none other. One day My Grandma never showed up at the hospital to make sure my Grandpa was okay, so my parents decided to go to her house and check on her to make sure she was fine. Sadly, my Mother found my Grandmother had passed in her sleep from a possible brain aneurysm.
My family was hit really hard with this because we were extremely close to my grandparents, and usually were at there house at least once every couple of days because we just enjoyed their company. My Grandmother was my go to person, she was the one who always told me to keep my head up and shoot for the stars. She is the reason my Mother is so awesome because of the way she was brought up, and having my Grandmother always there was like a lifeline I desperately needed. My Grandma was the one person I called when I was sad, the one person I visited when I was lonely, the one person who could make me laugh more than anyone else, and losing her was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I was an emotional mess and did not really know how I was going to come out of this "depression", so I went straight to the one thing I knew that would never fail me, and that was writing.
I remember that I felt like I needed to be alone a lot of the time when my Grandmother passed. So I would sit in my room, writing whatever came to mind, which usually just involved how angry or alone I was at that moment. I would write about how I blamed God for taking away someone as important as my Grandmother was to me, and how it was not fair to have taken her so soon. I would complain about how I am being selfish because she was going to miss all of my important high school events and how it was not fair that my sister had her through high school, why not me?! The point was, I got my emotions out by writing them down on apiece of paper, and it helped calm me when I was having a moment that I thought I was not going to be able to handle. My Grandmother would not have wanted to see me in so much pain, and even today, here and now, there is not a day that does not go by that I do not miss her or wish she was here. My Grandma will always be my hero, and I will make sure that everyone knows that because she is one of the most important people I had in my life, and I was extremely lucky to have her.
A Letter to My 8th Grade Self About My Grandmother:
Dear Thomas,
Hey there bud, I am just checking in on you because I know of the certain sad circumstances you are dealing with at this moment. Grandma Hoshield has just passed, and I am sure you cannot believe it at all, especially since you just saw her a few days ago and she gave you a huge hug and told you that she loved you. Death is one of the few things that nobody knows the time or hour it is going to come, but I want you to know this, things will get better.
Yes I know, you have heard this HUNDREDS of times, but coming from me, I think that you should take that with more than a grain of salt. Grandma was an AMAZING woman and you got to spend so much time with her, and not to mention you only lived a few blocks away from her. So many children and adults would do ANYTHING to have their grandparents for as long as you did, and dang it, you were LUCKY. Think of all the amazing times you guys spent together, whether it was playing old maid on the floor with you and laughing hysterically every single time she got the old maid, or when you guys would just sit on the backyard swing and talk about anything and everything for hours. She was your rock, she was your hero, she was your childhood.
Things are going to be changing from now on, and you have to be strong for your parents, but what you really need to do is be strong for YOURSELF. Do not just sit and mope around and be like why me, why me. Instead, get your butt off the ground and try and embrace life for all it is worth. Grandma loved you, and if you couldn't tell that then I have no idea what love is. She would always smile whenever she saw you walking up to her house through the window. She enjoyed that you would watch match game and Doctor Quinn with her because at the end of the day, she knew you probably didn't care for it, but you did it anyway because you were spending quality time with her. She loved making you lunch and snacks because of the smile you got on your face made her happy. She loved the hugs you would give her and every time you told her you loved her, and she loved you so big that it went to the end of the universe and back.
You were lucky Thomas, you were so lucky, and I want you to make sure that you keep your head up. She would not want you to be sad, she wants you to enjoy life to the fullest, because although she is not here to celebrate your achievements, she will always be there with you.
She will be with you when you take your first scary step into the high school, and she will have you by the hand making sure you are secure and doing alright throughout that long day.
She will be there with you during your first play at the high school, and laugh at the comedic lines you have.
She will be at all of your choir concerts, being extremely proud to say that that is her grandson with the voice.
She will be there with you when you graduate, applauding with everyone else as you cross the field to get your diploma.
She will be there with you when you feel like you have no idea where your place is in college, because she knows that you are scared to go out in the real world.
So in reality, she is always there with you, maybe not physically, but spiritually.
Just know that at the end of the day, she loved you, and you were one of the luckiest people ever to have known her, because I believe that many people would have loved to have her in their life.
During March, my Grandfather was in the hospital, and my entire family was all there praying and hoping that he would come out fine. My Grandmother, who was the strongest of them all, and was my hero, was at his side every minute of every day to make sure that he was taken care of properly. My Grandpa and Grandma were married for around sixty years or more, but you could tell the love they had for each other was like none other. One day My Grandma never showed up at the hospital to make sure my Grandpa was okay, so my parents decided to go to her house and check on her to make sure she was fine. Sadly, my Mother found my Grandmother had passed in her sleep from a possible brain aneurysm.
My family was hit really hard with this because we were extremely close to my grandparents, and usually were at there house at least once every couple of days because we just enjoyed their company. My Grandmother was my go to person, she was the one who always told me to keep my head up and shoot for the stars. She is the reason my Mother is so awesome because of the way she was brought up, and having my Grandmother always there was like a lifeline I desperately needed. My Grandma was the one person I called when I was sad, the one person I visited when I was lonely, the one person who could make me laugh more than anyone else, and losing her was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I was an emotional mess and did not really know how I was going to come out of this "depression", so I went straight to the one thing I knew that would never fail me, and that was writing.
I remember that I felt like I needed to be alone a lot of the time when my Grandmother passed. So I would sit in my room, writing whatever came to mind, which usually just involved how angry or alone I was at that moment. I would write about how I blamed God for taking away someone as important as my Grandmother was to me, and how it was not fair to have taken her so soon. I would complain about how I am being selfish because she was going to miss all of my important high school events and how it was not fair that my sister had her through high school, why not me?! The point was, I got my emotions out by writing them down on apiece of paper, and it helped calm me when I was having a moment that I thought I was not going to be able to handle. My Grandmother would not have wanted to see me in so much pain, and even today, here and now, there is not a day that does not go by that I do not miss her or wish she was here. My Grandma will always be my hero, and I will make sure that everyone knows that because she is one of the most important people I had in my life, and I was extremely lucky to have her.
A Letter to My 8th Grade Self About My Grandmother:
Dear Thomas,
Hey there bud, I am just checking in on you because I know of the certain sad circumstances you are dealing with at this moment. Grandma Hoshield has just passed, and I am sure you cannot believe it at all, especially since you just saw her a few days ago and she gave you a huge hug and told you that she loved you. Death is one of the few things that nobody knows the time or hour it is going to come, but I want you to know this, things will get better.
Yes I know, you have heard this HUNDREDS of times, but coming from me, I think that you should take that with more than a grain of salt. Grandma was an AMAZING woman and you got to spend so much time with her, and not to mention you only lived a few blocks away from her. So many children and adults would do ANYTHING to have their grandparents for as long as you did, and dang it, you were LUCKY. Think of all the amazing times you guys spent together, whether it was playing old maid on the floor with you and laughing hysterically every single time she got the old maid, or when you guys would just sit on the backyard swing and talk about anything and everything for hours. She was your rock, she was your hero, she was your childhood.
Things are going to be changing from now on, and you have to be strong for your parents, but what you really need to do is be strong for YOURSELF. Do not just sit and mope around and be like why me, why me. Instead, get your butt off the ground and try and embrace life for all it is worth. Grandma loved you, and if you couldn't tell that then I have no idea what love is. She would always smile whenever she saw you walking up to her house through the window. She enjoyed that you would watch match game and Doctor Quinn with her because at the end of the day, she knew you probably didn't care for it, but you did it anyway because you were spending quality time with her. She loved making you lunch and snacks because of the smile you got on your face made her happy. She loved the hugs you would give her and every time you told her you loved her, and she loved you so big that it went to the end of the universe and back.
You were lucky Thomas, you were so lucky, and I want you to make sure that you keep your head up. She would not want you to be sad, she wants you to enjoy life to the fullest, because although she is not here to celebrate your achievements, she will always be there with you.
She will be with you when you take your first scary step into the high school, and she will have you by the hand making sure you are secure and doing alright throughout that long day.
She will be there with you during your first play at the high school, and laugh at the comedic lines you have.
She will be at all of your choir concerts, being extremely proud to say that that is her grandson with the voice.
She will be there with you when you graduate, applauding with everyone else as you cross the field to get your diploma.
She will be there with you when you feel like you have no idea where your place is in college, because she knows that you are scared to go out in the real world.
So in reality, she is always there with you, maybe not physically, but spiritually.
Just know that at the end of the day, she loved you, and you were one of the luckiest people ever to have known her, because I believe that many people would have loved to have her in their life.